What are these yellow papers in the kitchen?
These are the tickets we got last night.
Did i sign this one as Grizzly Bear?
Yes...yes you did.
im going to have to ask you to stop vomiting stars, rainbows, and butterflies all over your facebook statuses...
you broke into my aparment at three in the morning wearing long johns and offered me beer.
just put a funnel in my mouth and pour the tequila in with a little emergen-c
Reggie can tackle my bush.
I got to the point where it seemed like she had 8 giant breasts instead of just two
I couldn't help thinking that my sock monkey was judging me
we all took turns holding you up and pretending that you were simba and that we were presenting you to the jungle
Seriously, dude... You knows its bad when you gag on her nipple.
I was drunk for 3 days straight...well wasted for 3 days with periods of "just drunk" inbetween
I wish to strangle
whoa there darth vader
Having to do the walk of shame on crutches was defiently a first for me. cheers to the governor, klove
When we got into his bed, his damn parrot started making sex noises in the other room
I jerked off 12 hours ago exactly. I owe it to my penis to get laid.
I do not recommend playing football on LSD like at all
Randomize
