i don't know how to normally transition into sexual activities without being drunk...
She told me she cured her bulemia by popping hydrocodone after she ate. that way she would be rewarded for not puking. I like the way she thinks
Hashbrowns don't come out your nose as easily as you would think
Hurricane Earl: Get Blown party at my house friday! Byob: bring your own bitch/booze. Must have 80s blown hair style, kazoo/noise maker (vuvuzelas/airhorns are allowed), and/or bubble wands. \n
Why am I even shocked you're doing this....
I told the hostess, two bouncers and a manager i was roofied and made them smell my beer. Turns out I just picked up some stupid bitches CHERRY WHEAT beer by mistake. I insisted they replace my lost beer.
Oh and I found some acid for the drive back to school, productive day
That's the point of day drinking, get fucked up by 6pm so you can get stuff done the next day. It's the adult thing to do.
You're just horny.
Yea, and? I appreciate you as a person too if that helps.
Welcome to the first annual slutathon and let the men be ever in our favor
Omg, you would have loved the guy I almost hit with my car tonight
Care to explain the single rose and the package of "Cowboy Moustaches" I found on the porch?
Is there like a dick file on me? Guys can't hold two dicks anymore?! Who are you people????
I was so drunk last night I couldn't see faces, only from the shoulders down.
He got you flowers. How bad can the sex really be?
She's better-looking with the mask on.
Randomize
