You know the commpass Jack Sparrow has? The one that just points at whatever you want? Thas pretty much my moral compass.
i may have used way too many innuedos last night. i scared him off. but really... how could i pass up "stimulus package" and "flacid economy." don't answer that.
Are you going to tell your therapist we boned?
i cant belive i got a ticket! i know what his dick tastes like!
he said i looked like a lion with slutty lingerie on .
Yeah, clearly. And then we can float around my room on Christmas themed inner tubes. And drink, I guess.
No no don't get confused. We do chemistry homework on Thursdays. We screw on Fridays. Other than that, Words With Friends is our only communication five days a week. We are NOT dating.
I totally accidentally said "we don't go around hammering girls in the rear" in front of 132 5th graders today.
The number of people who end up getting laid as a result of the cha cha slide....is terrible.
Those were some damn good pancakes you made last night.
Dude I've been in FL since Monday.
I should have listened to my dad and mean girls... If you have sex you'll get pregnant and die.
well that's the third time this semester that I've projectile vomited walking to class in front of dozens of people
I'm turning into an adult here.
Adults touch each other's special zones.
I mean you're asking high Chelsea. I'd sell myself for a rice crispy
I'm pretty sure the Bible says "He who is most sober may cast the first stone."
Randomize
