I don't usually arrange sex via text message
They should really pass out barf bags in church
I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
i used baking grease as lip gloss
i should probably find things i have in common with someone besides drinking, before having sex with them
It got messy; I did a shot of seamonkeys.
he told me i could have the honorable privilege of being the second girl to have sex with him in his new apartment, what a gentleman.
He literally chugged a bottle of wine in under 2 minutes. Stood up, said "fuck what ya heard" and stabbed the bottle into their drywall.
how do you not remember that?! you winked at the bouncer and then proceeded to grind on him while chugging a beer. i don't know if i should be proud or embarrassed to be your friend
I didn't think I was even that high but when we were standing in the cop car's headlights I totally forgot how to use my arms
but if we have a President Trump come Tuesday, I might throw myself off the Walt Whitman Bridge so Thursday might not work for me after all.
I just don't understand why your parents aren't supporting your dreams of being a medieval weapon smith.
I gave him a BJ in the shower
I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
sorry i got drunk at sunday brunch and force fed carrot sticks to your cat
After we finish having sex, he smokes an honest to God pipe. It's like fucking a big, sexy Sherlock Holmes...
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