"what do u think of parents raising kids to be peeping toms" said guy on bus 2 me
Got one of only two perfect scores in the class on the quiz I took drunk. This is not a good thing for me to have learned about myself.
oh ps. last night you kept telling me to calm down because everything was fine cause you were getting "arab money"...
Hands down the most disgusting picture message ever received. Thank you.
im here for your entertainment
I am literally sitting on the toilet in utter disbelieve that last night even happened. My god that was only Monday.
He told her hed rather go bobbing for apples in puke than have sex with her.
Got stoned and went to Walmart. For some reason a preacher walked up and asked if I knew the lord so I just yelled "I CAN FEEL HIM IN MY VIENS" at the top of my lungs. he left after that.
Bitch, he is not your friend and this is not Bravo. Get in this car before you get smacked
Paying for my weed with Mike's hard lemonade freezables. The perks of having a gay dealer
Do you think there are other mothers looking at porn in the carpool line?
How am i even supposed to meet his daughter? "Hi, Claire, I hear we have so much in common, like we both love your Dad and also we're almost the same age."
Idk I've taught my 18 month old how to say nipple so kids aren't all bad
Ahhh, the bane of our relationship.... His mediocre penis
Hangover and judgement, the breakfast of champions.
Dude I had my dad cock block me once
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