I'm eating all of the evidence.
I didnt pay $190 for a fake with a new middle name of Vane..
stop calling my apartment porn island.
you were carrying a trash bag around insisting it was your purse. I'll let you guess how your night went
He had the Transformers symbol tattooed to his chest. We had to do it doggy style so I could laugh into my pillow instead of his face.
If it wasn't obvious enough to the cops that she was drunk, she threw in, "I like the colors of the lights because it makes purple."
Just bought a 17 year old 40's while wearing a poncho. This behavior is acceptable until I'm 25.
This juggling 3 dicks is getting exhausting
So did you grab that log full of poison ivy for the fire and then apparently take a piss on Saturday night too or was that just me?
will we ever learn or are we destined for a life of poison ivy covered balls?
I may have tried to encourage people to play a new game I invented last night. I called it Super Quarters. Like regular quarters, only using an AA medallion.
Please tell me you're not home alone watching Glitter.
Can you see in?
So I got drunk last night and attempted to shave a landing strip on my vag. I now have a 8 lane highway on my crotch now. Just looks like a random ass square.
Doing coke by yourself isn't as fun. Even when you're watching a James Franco movie.
There is a huge fucking spider in my bathroom....I can just burn our apartment down right? What do you need me to grab?
She's seen your dick through your pants. You don't need to ask
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