so I ended up banging her last night
dude I remember her. You sure it was a her?
i don't even remember
I just paid $5 for a shot of el toro and the bartender wasn't even hot. Rock bottom.
new excercise plan: walk a mile get a bj then walk a mile home
I really need to stop coming home drunk and lint rolling my rabbit.
i jus dunped the rest of my drink down the sink and tool my bra off. pretty sure this is the best decision for everybody.
You both must have been completely wasted because every once in a while we would hear you both stop and start singing to each other. At one point it was taylor swift.
She was standing in the road flagging traffic in a tshirt and boxers. I didn't stop.
All she wanted was a cigarette
A three fingered guy just showed up with fireworks and bourbon, tonight will be entertaining.
This hurricane was the perfect excuse to buy 2 pounds of animal crackers and a case of beer. It's on Sandy.
Got a traffic ticket on the way home.. Literally cost me $171 to give him a blowjob. I swear the officer could smell the cum in my hair.
TSA literally pulled two bottles of whiskey out of my bag. Once he saw the leopard print socks and the mickey mouse tank, he put it back in my bag and said "Have a fun trip, man."
Would you consider masturbating to Hocus Pocus an adulthood high or low?
We broke into a construction site had sex on a scissor lift and realized it was a church...tomorrow again??
Do you ever just admire your boobs?
Found your bra in my backseat. And yes it took me that long to finally clean it out from last weekend
Didn't even know it was missing, if that makes you feel any better
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