Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
why does my status of facebook already read REHAB 2011
btw when he was trying to sleep i was apparently poking him in the face w my 'flipper' slurring random manatee facts
I'm bringing a flask to the test on friday. If I'm gonna fail at least I can enjoy the experience
This will never work out with him unless I somehow learn how to unhinge my jaw like a python.
The sun is gonna brush it's hairy dick across my forehead in the morning, gently whispering: "you're 4 hours late for work"
I'm pretty sure we scarred one of our coworkers. This is the second time he has caught us both fully undressed and banging at work.
Either he has bad timing or he wants to join.
I'm in the power napping at parties stage of my life
I wish the guy I was sleeping with wasn't on house arrest.
HOW THE FUCK CAN YOU NOT REMEMBER WHIPPING IT OUT AND PUTTING ON THE BAR?
By the way, you're banned for life.
Lesson learned. No more vodka and toaster strudel
I kept telling you not to give them blowjobs, but you kept screaming back, "it's okay, we're friends on facebook!"
Sorry, I didn't know he was with you. The ongoing collapse of Trump has me horny as hell.
Dude, the T Swift concert might not be so bad after all. Can you say milfs living vicariously through their teenage daughters? Score.
Randomize
