He just seriously used the word "skeet." Can we please find another way to get weed?
No. Take one for the team.
hammered. By myself. Accident. Faillll. Snowwwwwy
the cop cuffed us all with 40's still taped to our hands
Just so everyone's clear, it was already on fire when I got there.
I have bruises everywhere. I think I took "the drinks are strong" as more of a challenge than a warning.
sorry for the naked aussie man in your room last night, he got lost on his way to the bathroom
Well, practice makes perfect. Let's start playing Eye of the Tiger and do a blowjob training montage.
As I'm trying to leave her house she shushes me and puts my hand on her boob, then goes back to sleep. In like 30seconds. What the fuck.
I never thought I would have to get vodka suctioned out of my ear
Does it qualify as sexting if you're both pretending to be fictional characters?
I'm not sure whether to be proud of you or weirded out.
It'll be a romanticized airport meeting until I'm judged for sitting on his face in the terminal
Hold on... Are we having an intellectual conversation about porn?
Yup
I love us.
He's ninety percent amazing leader, brother, and teacher, and ten percent unforgivable douche. These are the men I look up to in my life.
How far are you from my house? Do I have time to masturbate before you get here?
it was awkward when he was taking off my clothes and i had to help him undo my fanny pack
Randomize
