I wanna wear you like a flannel shirt
he sat in the bathtub shirtless yelling in gibberish for 40 minutes. funniest. stoner. ever.
Not only did I hold your hair back as you puked, i french braided it. I am such a great friend.
I just got asked if I have a rule for sleeping with people. Like they have to buy me dinner first etc...
On that note, do I have a rule?
I just had cybersex with some guy from the Netherlands for 2 HOURS instead of doing my History project...how's your break going?
He is currently pregaming mini golf. MINI GOLF.
He broke the bed, AND shit in the closet. What a way to lose his virginity. What a night.
She asked if i could guess "what shape her carpet was". I got it wrong (christmas tree).
I think the paper my teacher just handed back to me had one of his pubes on it, I'm way too hungover for this
Pretty sure I was impersonating Rihanna when I kept asking him what my name was while we were making out
Apparently I told him he would be good for human sacrifice.
Don't worry my mom is buying me a vasectomy for Christmas
Elliott peed on my floor and slept in it lol that's a one line description.
Guy from the bar last night left his number on my waterbill on the counter, at the bottom he put don't forget I can hook you up at Little Caesars I work their part time.
You sure know how to pick em.
Just sent a nude with the caption "seasons greetings from our family to yours"
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