I think east. Tornado watch. What the fuck are you doing in Texarkana?
Bonnaroo. Tornado watch? Expand on that thought.
Watch for tornadoes.
My vagina smells like strawberry tangerine twist.
Buying $100 worth of beef jerkey sounded like a terrific idea last night.
All the walks of shame were condensed into the hour before parents started showing up. Move out day is so bittersweet
You need to come get me. I'm pretty sure that gravity's going to crush my brain
you literally pushed me forward in the seat so you could puke behind my back without the cabbie noticing..
she laid there and continued moaning loudly for like 10 minutes after we were done, just so that her mom would be jealous
there seems to be a considerable amount of hair missing from my left hand. i may have lit it on fire again
Dude it started out with let's find some food and ended up with me getting a needle in the face
Just found my old bop it. So many drinking game possibilities
I'm glad we are bonding over both contracting clamidya. Winners.
100%
Its the anniversary of our epic NBA All-star game weekend. The night the two of us cashed a 30-pack while watching the dunk contest
You rubbed your penis on my leg and said "people have paid for this kind of action"
Well, let's see..I held him while he cried for 30-40 minutes, woke up on his couch AND he gave me a ride home in his underwear. Shit show is not even the half of it.
When dealing with embarassing medical issues, don't you want your brother's wife to be the one fishing around up your ass?
Randomize
