meow
WTF. STOP SENDING ME ANIMAL NOISES. ITS FUCKING WEIRD.
dude you made out with his girlfriend and stole his credit card to buy more drinks
well when you put it that way, I sound like a terrible person
I remember why I come home for the holidays. Sam Adams is the cheapest beer in the fridge
Me and a lesbian played "may the best man win" over a bi chick tonight... I lost, still fun though
I'm on strict orders from her to keep sleeping with you until you give her a job next summer.
He is dust bro dust in the wind I waited in this unlocked car long enough.
He woke me up at 3 am, turned me on, then changed his mind. There is no way he is getting out of twilight now.
Can you bring me a corn dog or something shaped like one?
I wanna say I regret bonging a beer while having sex with Mike, but it helped me get thru it.
I got inside last night via doggy door
My actions are not mine. They are the actions of Patron.
I've been sleeping with the same person for about two months now, I think I know a little bit about stability and commitment.
I love you. Doing a double. Going to die. It will be painful. Let the world know i partied. God, did i party.
I don't know..He walked out of your room with a kraft single..and blood on his shirt...He really wanted cheese.
Alan said you can come over and eat me out anytime you want, as long as we give him enough notice to hide in the closet before we arrive
Randomize
