Things to remember: Girls don't appreciate it when you yell "Beast Mode!" when switching to doggy style.
Im not sure if he just tripped or was star gazing, but i gave him head anyway.
Just threw up my room service breakfast with my fake eyelashes and pearls still on.
I don't know what's more sad having a rewards account at a liquor store or already racking up 273 dollar points since january
You were chewing up hot dogs and spitting them out
They were going around the house breaking things and screaming "Not my house!"
Also while I am being the bigger person I plan on bringing over something strong smelling and/or alcoholic to torture the poor hungover bastard
Promise me you won't have sex in my room
I can't promise you that, but I promise you that I'll try
Might want to in your tub tho. That thing is fucking huge.
I fully committed to my astronaut costume, to say the least. blacking out on moonshine and having a moonwalk of shame this morning: happy Halloweekend.
You were mean to me and you broke my heart and hurt my feelings. You dont get to talk to me about Peter Dinklage
Masturbating during the Olympics and cumming during the national anthem really is everything it's cracked up to be. Just thought you should know.
He used one of his curtains as a leash and hand restraints. He wins the creative sex challenge hands down.
I already tell everyone in my office my bf is at the Naval academy. It slipped one time and I can't go back on it now
I may be asexual, but I owe you a solid from yesterday. I am a man of my word.
My lease is up and I've been thinking, it's only fair that the guys I've fucked in this apartment in the past year help me move. They enjoyed the bed, now help me move it.
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