It feels like I shit a light bulb that shattered on the way out.
I forgot how hot balto sounded
I returned the dress. When they asked for the reason for return I said, 'I don't deserve to wear white'.
we need to find an occasion to wear tutus
Theres a freshman smoking a pipe on campus. This new class is setting a new standard we're not ready for
I WALKED myself out of breath. And I'm lost I'm a Tim Hortons parking lot. That's how hungover I am.
Agreed. That's like a marriage. For better or worse, till death do us part. I will hold your head over a toilet
Its like no one cares im drunk naked wet and ready to throw myself at some one hold on i found a solution to my problems
I love pie. Pie understands me and the spatula
I took a hang over nap infront of the door to my 9am class
As I read your response saying I need a tan before I can become a go-go dancer, a girl cane up to work and gave me 10 coupons for 100 days of tanning for a dollar.
This is fate. You were destined to be a stripper.
You very well can't change your mind now. It would upset the natural flow of life.
I feel violated by Miley Cirrus's performance in the VMA's.
and then you called me a third time and yelled that you were stealing a puppy named Willow
The only monogamous relationship I can keep is with my eyebrow lady...
You texted me a picture of some random naked guy. Did you lose your virginity?
Bro, I was just laying in bed with this girl and her boyfriend came an woke me up
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