all you kept yelling was "i'm bored and i'm sober"
He's doing the single life. He recently finished like a 3 year relationship. You can't date him.
But I don't want to date him. I just want to look at him. Naked. And in my bed.
He came in my eye, I lost my earring and all of his friends saw me topless. Happy New Year to you as well.
I remember all the people and all the acts I just have to match the person with the act
Also what is the name of Americas thing where we had a holy obligation to expand westward? I'm going name my new lighter that.
Most men with as many freckles as you aren't vagina magnets. You are an exception to your kind.
My neck kind of hurts. I think from sleeping on the concrete.
I dealt with the imported moonshine, but when the cocaine came out, I had to get the fuck out of there
I'll be the Broncos and you be the Seahawks and you can pound the shit out of me.
Ahaah! I just stole batteries from work for my vibrator. I am that person.
Dude someone puked in a bowl n put it in the fridge. I thought it was salsa! Who does that?
are you inviting me to ice cream?
the subtext of everything i say to you is inviting you to ice cream
Currently standing at the bus stop in just a pillowcase and its fucking snowing
You don’t need a wing man if you have a solid hook up on the pumpkin pie
One day I'm going to get tired of waking up and wondering where the glow sticks on the floor came from.
Randomize
