Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
is it bad if my mug shot looks better than my profile picture?
i just uploaded pictures of my nephew, and you & d puking in the same toilet. i think i should keep them in the same album. show my nephew what he has to look forward to.
You two kept repeating the same thing over and over. It was like looking after retarded pull-string dolls.
who said I'd never amount to anything...i just won 'most enthusiastic' at my poledancing class
hiding in a bush to avoid a seven dollar cab ride. cabby got out a flashlight and looked for us for like an hour. help.
This morning two of his housemate threw confetti over me, started singing and handed me a make shift trophy out of cereal boxes and beer cans that said 'Harry's Virginity' on it. Fucking brilliant!
We haven't said piping hot jizz in awhile... that needs to come back into our conversations
Dear god how many nuts did u bust in me my vagina feels like a bowl of jello.
He talked to you for like two seconds while you were shit faced doing Forest Gump impressions...how is that possible?
No worries, I've prioritized my homework into "can do drunk" and "should be sober" categories. We're good.
1. Why did we have the team Chirstmas party in November 2. Why didn't anyone tell me the coaches were invited 3. Why did coach get the giant vibrator I brought
I asked him to help me break in the space ship aka my bed.
I woke up and finished the bottle like a champ
I finally realized he drank way too much when he tried serenading me to the song "come my lady" while slowly and creepily making his way toward me...keeping constant eye contact.
Randomize
