I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
all i know is i woke up with a braid in my hair and i vaguely remember a cab driver telling me he would give me $10,000 to get him a green card. and he would take me to turkey. and give me free cab rides. im never drinking on my medicine again. lol.
The guy at the liquor store just checked my id and said "oh it's you"
so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
the towel caught on fire outside the hottub but we were all too stoned to care
My 16 year old coworker just told me I should take my job more seriously after she watched me puke in the backroom trash can. Fuck teenagers with morals.
Dude squirt doesnt even begin to describe it i thought she was the lost portal to atlantis with how much she let out
My password hint says "not sunset, also facebook." i need to stop doing computer things while high. I will never figure this clue out.
They are fixing my bike for free, trying to smoke me out, and their kids keep hugging me.
i'm teaching a bunch of people how to grow weed over snapchat. no shame.
He's not messing around tonight. 4 fist pumps.
I've lost every trace of self esteem. Even sneaking a BJ in the coffee room has lost it's luster.
he just fucked me for my cheese..
I just saw the co founder of Waffle House passed away Friday. Are you okay?
That's about the same time my life started falling apart... Coincidence?!?!? I think NOT!!!
He's hot, clean, can actually cook, and best of all isn't a narcissistic prick. I found a unicorn.
Ride that fucker.
Randomize
