I wish I could rss feed the hooker ads on craigslist because it looks suspicious that I check craigslist every hour.
i just traded a sweatshirt for margaritas... why did they ever stop using the barter system??!!
Next time i try to unbutton my R.A's shirt with my teeth, please stop me
No promises.
just got high and bedazzled my bra. other than bleeding from the prongs life is so good.
any chance you can send me your legal ethics outline, in exchange for say, me buying you a lapdance the next time we go to the strip club?
He poured syrup on all those broken dishes because "syrup is magical, and by the time we wake up, they'll be fixed."
she has a fucking refrigerator full of four loko and is charging 15 dollars a can.... she is like a mini donald trump
I don't care that you fucked her. I'm offended that once again, you fucked someone with me in the room because you assumed I was asleep.
Whatever, the fact of the matter is that I saved you from poorly planned outdoor sex by doing a rain dance and you should totally thank me.
I'm smoking a bowl and pondering why we haven't discovered teleportation again.
I'm not worried. All I have to do is not be the drunkest painter at 8:00. Golden.
I am pretty sure we beat baby seals over the head in a past life. That is why we are being punished.
Dude, get out of Andrea's vagina and call me back
I shaved my balls for you. Do you have any idea how hard that is?
Well I want to be mistreated and called a slut and finger banged
But I guess hugs would be nice
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