Unfortunately, they didn't pull of their wake and bake plans. Instead, they waked and vomited like a half-retarded giraffe till everyone woke up.
i want to cheat with him just to show his girlfriend what a terrible person he is.
boy from dating site added me on facebook. i don't know if i'm ready for him to see what a drunk i am.
he walked out as i was licking snow off of his car...
I wish i could 80s montage me losing weight
Good news. Isn't krabs. Bad news. Not sure what it is. Worse news. Encouraged not to fuck till known. Great news getting laid tonight
oh, i've got big weekend plans. on an unrelated note, do you think viagra will work if the guy is roofied?
since when did our medecine drawer and our sex drawer become the same drawer? we now have lube covered cough drops.
An hour ago, you were stranded out of state, and now you're getting laid? You are a god. Whatever you do, don't ask her name.
I mean, two foreign guys have drunkenly confessed their love for her, so she's clearly doing something right.
So how exactly do I backtrack from motorboating and ass grabbing?
okay we need to get tested.
no YOU need to get tested. I'm just going along for the ride.
I was apparently the best non-Irish person at the party. I wore my skating dress, Austrian flag and a giant shamrock. Everyone is calling me "30 Shots Girl".
Don't date the locals. They're all tainted.
Only you could get too drunk for taco bell. I don't know if I'm jealous or ashamed. Go to bed.
Randomize
