i puked in the mini-firdge
we don't have a mini-fridge?
bought one. it ws too cheap to pass up. xcept now there's puke in it,,, but the freezer's fine so i feel pretty good about that
why do they call them blowjobs? ....unless i'm doing it wrong?
Wow, haven't had to deal with the 'stoned at the dinner table' scenario in a while
I've spent the last three hours watching 30 rock and eating marshmallows and ham. I'm considering taking up weed to justify my lifestyle.
i swear to god even though i took those meds before coming here i did not hallucinate zulema silently throwing up into a breakfast burrito
She kept chasing him yelling thief, because he drank some of her drink. That was at 8, it got worse.
omg i hate the new neighbors. why cant a bitch just be hungover in peace on a wednesday morning.
The last good decent convo we has was when I was trying to convince you to let me watch you pee.
All my credit cards need to be pressure washed
I wouldn't have puked last night if I didn't inhale straight pepper from you shattering the pepper shaker on the wall.
You fucked a stripper on your sisters friends blow up mattress. The least you could do is wash the sheets.
Last night we got home from the bar and saw a fox outside and we lured it in the house with a piece of cheese. Just wanted to party with some potentially dangerous wildlife I guess.
It really does creep me out though that the next ten years will involve my friends creating smaller versions of themselves because to be honest I don't know how much I like some of them. So that thought it really scary
I'm basically the yoda of knowing when someone wants to sleep with you
If you can throw 105 mph it’s mandatory that you’re hung.
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