if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
The only thing I can remember you saying is "I won't cut pizza like this when I'm older."
Bars not open yet, I feel like a desperate alcoholic wandering around outside.
I swear this girl is like a Cross between Danny Devito and Anne Heche....the Lesbian Years.
Oh god I can't handle any more dudes. I just walk of shamed to work wearing a guy's boxers and a life jacket. This summer is going to kill me.
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
I'm drinking wine alone, eating leftovers, and cleaning my sex toys. For the love of god, do not graduate.
My time here is complete. I think I have now thrown up in every major degree programs building
If I die young bury me in satin. And make sure there's a taco bar at my funeral.
Look. If you get me out of this speeding ticket you can bang my sister. Or my mom. But not both.
My favorite part was screaming to all my life by kc and jojo and just horribly failing
Sorry about the Christmas balls dude. At the time I thought they were festive as fk but I see now I've just spent too much time on the internet
Rock bottom: having sex rejected while your boyfriend talks in his sleep as you stuff your face with Girl Scout cookies
Oh man I knew I took that Molly too soon, talkin to some Scottish people lol but don’t like rollin in pizza restaurants.
I just gave a fucking twenty minute blowiob.. I'm a GOOD girlfriend.
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