she really just asked how mermaids reproduce.
just rolled a joint with wrapping paper.. and you say i have no christmas spirit
and unfortunately for you, hallmark doesnt make a "sorry i was getting a blowie in the backseat of your car while you were driving, projectiled my jizz onto your hand, and caused you to crash" card
An hour ago, you were stranded out of state, and now you're getting laid? You are a god. Whatever you do, don't ask her name.
Have your arms or hands ever gone numb after drinking too much?
Wtf did you do last night?
You can't find true love with Budweiser and a futon
Please take a moment of silence for the fact that I still have all 10 fingers
My unemployment came through so I'd like to thank the taxpayers of Utah in advance for my level of intoxication this weekend
Yes I slept with him, he was the only one not wearing a costume. Guys with costumes are just trying to impress you.
i want to shrink myself down to penis size, climb inside of her pussy and just live there for a few months.
I just smoked a bowl alone and took my Zyrtec here's to a full night.
I should get him a card "thanks for letting me use you for your penis on and off as I see fit and for being a nice guy. My boobs and I appreciate your loyalty and dedication"
"I'm pretty sure all our toasts were to Ben Afflecks penis last night."
good news: i got laid. bad news: by your boyfriend
I took my makeup off with mouthwash. Seemed like a good idea. It worked.
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