had to check his id this morning to remember his name.... i was wayy off
does my mom think that having an ed hardy lighter is going to get her laid?
you drank a bottle of vodka and then while throwing up in my toilet you kept reminding me our hs reunion was in 2 yrs and it was time to start getting thin again anyway
I guess you can say it's a tradition... whoever brings home the ugliest guy has to do all the cleaning the next day
I couldn't walk, so he carried me all the way home; and then I told him that I wasn't drunk enough to fuck him. Poor kid.
TOMORROW NIGHT CAN I HOLD YOU LIKE A BABY
I gained confidence after I found out she was a lesbian. At least that way I could flirt with her and convince her to buy me taco bell after the bar
you got me arrested i just think that goes without question you owe me a blowjob
I wish they could condense everything I needed, nutritionally speaking, into mike and ikes
June 16th my calendar just says boobietassels....I can only assume that has to do with you
I'm in the sex attic, crying, eating french toast and taco
I don't have to hold her hair back as she blows me but I do have to hold the ball on the Santa hat
Her ass is the reason I still believe in a higher power
I was gonna jerk off, but then I thought about that movie last night and it killed that idea. I have serious boner trauma.
Wanna get drunk and make some bad decisions?
Are you calling me a bad decision?
Randomize
