Come with me and I'll find you a girl. What's your type?
Vagina
i havee beer in my backseat and a glow in the dark condom in my cleaveage.
you're going for the gold here.
Oh. Thats cool. Im not dating anyone right now. Sean gave me chlamydia from some GUY he fooled around with. Im being abstinent.
just once id like to meet someone on craigslist who isnt fat
just bought a coffee grinder that advertiesed spacious grinding chamber...new nickname for my bedroom?
she asked me if i wanted her to take her wedding ring off while she was giving me a handjob.
If there was a game called "keeping your legs shut," I would lose every time.
Your scrotum should have touched every square inch of that place by now. Start with the water fountain.
the girl next to me at the bar JUST looked down at her vagina and said "im going to get you fed". if i come home alone tonight...i give you permission to cut off my penis
Well apparently I'm no fun since I won't have a threesome with him and my mother.
Not sure how I feel about St Psts and March Madness being on the same weekend. I feel like I've been screwed out of a drunk holiday.
Hey will pizza rolls help if you accidentally get a diabetic chihuahua drunk?
Nothing like grinding all night with a hot ethnic guy dressed as a clown to help conquer your phobia. Halloween is fucked up.
I woke up to him watching me sleep and after I told him it was over he asked if we were still on for Vegas next weekend
I got up and left his place at 3am because I remembered I had a burrito in my car.
Randomize
