we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
either she doesn't know how to dress properly on a sunday morning stroll, or I just saw a 60 year old on a walk of shame
I just heard the term negative masterbation and I don't believe it
All four of us managed to throw up in the same bathroom at different times during the night. I think we'll get along great living together.
i did the responsible thing and pissed myself...
My costume is made up of 4 inch heels and a firefighter costume I'm borrowing from the dramatic play area of my Pre-K classroom. I told you I could still be slutty on a teacher's salary.
Hooking up with him would mean my type has officially become... drug dealer.
its official. the only way for my hair to look good is to blow somebody
Right but I don't wanna waste the whole weekend not having sex when we could be having sex
Is it weird to say that Kobe reminds me of a wise brontosaurus?
You stole a fry from a complete stranger. He wasn't happy. Then you said fuck it and stole the whole poutine and ran down the street while he stared in shock.
I just gave her a sobriety test in the middle of the baking aisle.
And the results, officer?
She's fucked.
There is naked swordfighting and something green and alcoholic going on in the basement. COME. OVER. NOW.
Your dick is going to fall off. Be careful or you'll get callouses. A workingman's dick.
I need a conscience and I need it yesterday.
Randomize
