Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
I just saw my grandmother naked. again. this needs to stop now.
I just woke up in my car with half the wedding cake next to me. This will not end well.
i never realize how drunk i am until i start using people as human stripper poles
I'm the only adult here not drinking and their 2 year old daughter is trying to play dolls with me.. I've never been so demoralized in my life.
you goin out tonight?
who is this.
your orgasm for tonight
Yes, he made a MIX CD for our booty call...
you're being fucking weird and i don't like it. text me when you're not being the after picture on a poster for rehab
I am going to ride along with a cop tonight so please don't get arrested because that would be super awkward for me.
I'm out of town so we should be golden.
Sorry, I am not your wing girl tonight,. in my pjs, eating cereal from the box. Hell I only shaved the inside of my legs just so they wouldn't itch. Not happening.
I still don't know why she was so offended when I emerged from the bathroom and told her my balls were now clean.
And my parents said I crawled through the house
Also. I think I just got sentimental over a nude
STOP FUCKING TELLING PEOPLE ABOUT THAT TIME THAT GUY CAME ON MY FACE WHILE I WAS ASLEEP!!!
You kept licking my face. You said you were making sure I was real.
Randomize
