also, made friends with this 75 year old millionaire Tony who likes to mosh. Don't ask.
it feels like my vag is blowing bubbles
Just assessed the damage in the bath. Two love bites. One bruise on the inner thigh. Strange awareness of what i'm assuming is my cervix. I've definitely missed you. x
they esentially rejected my mermaid threesome offer:(
I woke up smelling like the ciroc you tried pouring into my mouth last night. I think my clothes are still soaked
IDK DUDE BUT HE TIED IT WITH A SHOELACE SO I GOTTA FREE SHOELACE OUTTA THE DEAL. THIS GIVES A NEW MEANING TO LACED DRUGS
It's a toss up. They'll either laugh and watch you drunkenly fuck on the beach or they'll throw you deep in Mexican jail.
Can you technically cross something off your bucket list if you don't, per say, remember it....?
Getting dressed and listening to the song Buffalo Bill danced to in Silence of the Lambs. I'm a perfect psych major.
So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.
fyi, pepper spray hurts. whoever comes up with the best backstory wins a prize.
Also send boobie pics with bobs burgers in background its the only way to get me off anymore
Am I getting cock blocked by karaoke? That's a first.
WHY DID I MAKE A 7 minute video of me eating crackers and cheese when I was high
Send it to me
My law teacher drew an elephant on the board in class. I was so high that I laughed for 5 minutes straight. Nobody else laughed and everyone stared. 130 people knew I was high.
Randomize
