Let's start a violent farting gang. We can do walkbys.
I wonder how many times I can be hungover in one day
Just woke up in a hotel next to a 38 year old mom who's married... I think Spring Break has started
i walked toward the cop car thinking it was the liquor store lights nd by that time it was too late to escape the trap
I mean, I don't even call it a hangover anymore. It's just morning.
deryk tried to steal your screen door and i think sam and brent are duct taping lauren to the diving board.
You try staying up all night fucking a guy with a curved dick and see how much you want to go out after that.
Bring one of those heart stabber things in case you go into shock. I'll jab you.
I cnant read. Cheetos goen. Help. Grt Cheetos.
Remember that time I hopped home naked from the bar, then tried to convince you I was ok to drive you home? Good call on the taxi.
Also I'm so used to having sex with river guides that when he pulled out a condom I was actually surprised
At this point it's more of an experiment to see how much actual bush growth is possible. See, being single can be both educational and surprisingly comfy!
I gave three different guys a boner at the same time last night, and none of them are in the same city as I am. That's achievement.
She calls him the walking dildo to his face. That relationship is already fucked up.
I’m good. I learned that a guy ate the mushrooms that were growing out of his toilet, so there’s that.
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