That chick was all over your bacon last night, grinding on you, I thought you were going to bang her in the club
Dude it was a lap dance
i can totally tell he's high. he's having a conversation with my dog.
we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
i feel like words won't express my appreciation properly so at some point i'm just going to bring you pizza then go down on you for an hour. fair?
we knew you were done when they played It's All Coming Back To Me Now by Celine Dion and you started crying
Before you become official, we should get a hotel room and fuck our brains out. Sort of like a going away party for your penis.
Me and him getting it in is for special occasions only. Like Christmas and when they bring the McRib back.
Never drinking again. Maybe, if our boss gave us more 3-day weekends we would know how to handle ourselves. That was a shit show.
I was like, booze is the closest thing I have to a father. Don't pour daddy down the sink
Ended up in his bed... He's passed out holding me and his bulldog is laying across my legs. Both snoring. HELP!! I wanna go home!
EITHER I'M HIGH OR JUST REACHED A NEW LEVEL OF SINGLE FEMALE SADNESS BECAUSE THIS BROWNIE IS GIVING ME ORGASMS
I have aggressive nipples.
On a scale of 1-10 how inappropriate is it for me to ask if Walgreens offers teacher discounts when purchasing a Plan B pill?
I guess it's too forward to greet him with a blow job?
Dude no i feel my liver disintegrating
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