apparently the secret to your success is patron
don't read that magazine bro. I came in it
Practice the "sorry I may have given you herpes" conversation with me before I call him and break the news
she peed on how many people?
I need a hobby that doesnt involve alcohol and my tv
Well he's not exactly single.. It's like an open relationship his wife doesn't know about
I pissed myself at the bar so I threw away my wet underwear and kept partying... you act you've never done that before
I'm two guys short from fucking the whole baseball team and one is gay. I will be successful by the end of this month.
We will go to karaoke
Okay, well, i'm covered in paint, haven't showered & have already been drinking, so if I fall on the floor in a blaze of depeche mode & beer tears, you can't pretend you don't know me
It's funny when you can't take a fishing boat because you fucked the captains wife
There's nothing more rewarding than telling you that I fucked your dad
Which one of you fucks put a bounty out on my brother's virginity?
We're going to ride the bus of mixed signals all the way to unrequited love town and that's where I'm going to live my life and then die.
She came out of the bathroom listening to her iPod and crying. Then she started scream 'she will be loved'. She seems to be handling the break up well lol
She moved all of her stuff out while we were gone. Shit in the toilet, and didn’t flush. So yeah it went well.
Randomize
