dude, best porn name ever, "the Hunt for Red Cocktober"
it really sends the message that i like to impregnate mortal women and have them birth fantastic half man-half god infants.
If i have to listen to his problems about his girlfriend, he should at least let me suck his cock.
p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
She sang Bad Romance to me. Not really the answer I was looking for.
Ate lunch. Still drunk. Keep forgetting I'm in Texas but then I look around at the people and remember.
It's always a surprise to see what songs I shazamed and downloaded last night while we were drunk at the bar.
It was beyond pathetic. You yelled her name at every blonde chick we saw hoping it would be her. Then you puked your corn dog
I'm at his house right now making him pancakes to compensate for YOU not giving him a handjob last night. You're welcome.
There was enough sluts here for 2 threesomes to happen at the same time, and you still struck out. What did you do to piss off karma so much?
Hope you had your fill for the summer my friend, because all the cleavage has been put away for the winter. Fear not; it blooms again in May.
Okay I take that back some girl just said pussy sweat. Get me outta here
I think it's safe to say I'm rolling my hypothetical balls off
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
Snorted a dorito chip for 1$. Cross that off the bucket list.
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