sometimes i wish i had a whole other life to spend on youtube
If I've learned one thing today? Blow jobs get you to state championships.
Alright. Who did it? Who's bangin' the ump?
You know, I really only think drinking is a problem if you're not good at it.
Found my new morning breakfast spot. Hospital cafeteria. Nobody asks questions, they just assume shit went downnn
I'm scared. I feel like she's my mom and she just walked in on me having sex. Like she's "disappointed"
I kinda wish he had even a slight idea of the sex I'm planning for his departure. I'm literally studying for it.
Aaaaand that would be the most of my hand I've ever fit into a vagina before.
Come over we're drinking with orange soda as a chaser to honor 90s nick kenan and kel.
She just locked herself in the bedroom with an unopened bottle of wine and a steak knife. Unfortunately for her fingers, I stopped giving a fuck two hours ago.
It was less of a bar, and more of an abandoned basement that some people sell booze in.
So "I hate myself Mondays" has extended to Tuesday this week. I just had peanut butter and a glass of wine for lunch.
Last night turned out to be an expensive trip to your house between the ticket and the plan b. (Well I haven't gotten that yet)
Found out my grandpa had two wives and found out I'm eligible for some internships 11/10 would do acid again.
i just used a selfie stick to take an ass pic. i hate myself.
Well shit I mean if you get a bunch of cashed up drunk lesbians together in a casino, it's bound to go south at some point
Randomize
