I wanna wear you like a flannel shirt
We can't ever have kids because there's a chance that they'll end up just like us.
I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
i just bought ciggarettes using my court citation as id. I've reached an all time low.
I faked it too. I just spit on your bed.
Please don't let me drink ever again. I apparently told him he could stay but as there was no room in the bed he'd have to lie on top of me and he'd need to anchor himself on with his penis so he didn't fall off.
dont call me baby and dont touch my ears. ITS ALL I ASK
I know how to make vodka btw in case you want to come over and do a science project
I can measure my amount of vomit in solo cups.
Exactly. Stay back and unsubscribe from her
I'm just sayin. If your gonna cheat go for someone TOTALLY different. Fucking her twin would be a waste.
This bar smells like your ball sack. In a weird way I miss you.
All I ever do is give guys anxiety problems and flaccid penises.
Well we can add this to the list of 'where the hell did that bruise come from?'
You kept running around yelling "I need my pajamas" & then you got naked. Shit just went downhill from there.
Randomize
