Sex should be hot, sweaty, messy, and a little painful. At no point should it involve tiny rocks
I mean I had a leg brace. It would have been irresponsible for me to be on top.
Like if god were to send me a cock shot, that's what it would look like.
Dude i thought about you literally the second after I came. This friendship is starting to cross some serious boundaries
I have had more skin than food in my mouth the last three days
It's like a party bus, but there's a glass, airtight wall separating the driver from the passengers, and once everyone's on, they pump vaporized THC into the cabin.
I have got to stop making out with redheads. I need to sign my life over to my dad like Britney Spears.
you had me at cake vodka
they superglued a cigarette to my fingers...i think I need to quit smoking.
The air was thick with penises
My mom just covered me while I peed in the street. I love her. i also love parents weekend.
He made me choke him and call him Papi..so all in all a good night.
he pissed the bed, like I literally woke up and he was pissing right beside me. With the electric blanket he's lucky he didn't get electrocuted
I was so drunk I got stuck in the middle of a revolving door
He was trying to break into my apartment to get the coke he left last night, didn't engage parking break, so the van started rolling. yup, it's broken.
Randomize
