Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
Who has a video camera? i want to look back on this one day and say OH thats why i spent 2 years in jail
Just an FYI: The offer for you to come snow blow my driveway in return for sexual favors is still on the table
Hes screaming about Slender man. whatever hes on is probably not healthy.
Missing both credit cards and just had a flashback of grinding my nuts on the terrified cab driver for amusement. i am feeling a slight hate for myself right now.
Tid bit for you to add to your "what to expecting when you're expecting to lose your virginity" book... Sex on nyquil is cheaper and BETTER than sex on esctacy AND you sleep like a champ after so you're not able to think about any bad decisions made.
I will have you again some day my love. And our divorce will be magnificent
Things are very odd on my 29th hour of being awake. Thought there was a bird in my lecture hall and it was just a girl putting up her hair. What even
He pointed at me, then leaned in and said "shes the best at blow jobs" then chris fist pumped him and said "dude, I know"
I guess I look like the kind of girl who would buy edible, weed-infused lube.
Tuesday Boozeday turned into What-the-fuck-were-you-thinking Wednesday real fast.
He is a real estate investor who’s face I’m going to sit on.
Anyhow. He gives me orgasms and cuddles and buys me dinner and alcohol. Ill keep him around and cross that other girl bridge when we get there ha ha
We're about to get drunk and it feels wrong without you
Just went to Meijer. Purchased furnace filters, fishing line, red lipstick and pregnancy test. And if my purchase alone wasn't classy enough, I took the pregnancy test in the Meijer bathroom because Im on my way to the bar and wanted to know if that was a good idea or not. Cheers to no babies!
Randomize
