Still at the library. i hate tax accounting so much that i've started calling it potions...
all the sharp corners in my house are covered with litter foam blocks. al set for partying
You were so hammed, you asked your buddy in Economics to plot a demand curve for Parmesan Cheese.
Another night, another sound of my neighbor almost having an orgasm.
And she used to have such long ones. Sad.
Somehow I managed to make my Dunkin Donuts uniform look slutty. And I'm not even wearing hoops.
smelt my brothers hands when he got home to see if he lied about smoking again...he didn't lie but i definitely didn't expect to smell some other girls vagina.
you handed me the dorito you were about to eat and told me to 'keep him safe' while you went to the bathroom
Well. It was around 3 or 4 in the morning. He ran into the woods. Wearing moccasins. Holding an extension cord. He was trying to catch a deer. That about sums up the awesomeness of the night.
well apparently i was just calling everyone cunts. then i awoke from my blackout to 3 very mad roommates who didn't bring a key out with them
I drank enough to tranq a steed. You really missed out
How do I go about this? "Hey, its my birthday in 40 minutes. Would you like to come over for some sex? Also, please bring snacks"?
I thought i didnt really feel whatever i snorted last night until i just realized i think i asked this dude to punch me fight club style
Well she made a 15 year old cry, the grandmother did an ice luge and I woke up to the sound of sex moans
no strings attached, like you could fuck him and then throw him off a building right after
Ignore him I am the one that wears the pants in the relationship while "the big man" cries in bed
Randomize
