I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
There is no point in being painfully greyhound thin if you are then going to dress like it's raining in 1992.
i was concerned by what you said you would do for a snickers. It wasn't even a Klondike bar.
She referred to her collection of sex toys as an "arsenal." I'm not sure whether to be scared or excited....
And when I say "complete whore" I mean I could possibly make a shameful profit by wearing this.
Dont forget about the tuna sandwich behind your TV
Jelly. This is your "are you still alive" text. Any response will do.
Hey I found a cat!
It took 6 cruisers to bust the party last night. Cop asked if the theme was a beach party. I said I would fucking hope so with 8 tons of sand in the garage
I couldn't find pants for like 20 minutes so I was butt ass naked just sitting on your floor
Dear God, please let me get my period. And if this one is fiercer than usual I completely understand.
You know you're high when, "Why can't I steal the duck?!" Becomes a serious question.
I think I passed out drunk at my own jewelry party
Is "You've never made me cum." an acceptable breakup line?
not sure if actually covered in glitter or just drunk
Random question, what's John-that-we-had-a-threesome-with's phone number? Don't necessarily need the full number, maybe just area code? Think I drunkenly ran into him last night and now I have texts from a John.
Randomize
