speaking of unleashing monsters, we need to get condoms
Would love to except that I crashed into a hearse in a funeral procession about an hour ago so I think that pretty much put an end to my day.
the lady at the gas station just thanked me for wearing clothes this time... i am so confused
I had fun watching you interact with the world around you. Like a fuckin 8 year old kid who just discovered build a bear but really wants a cigarette.
I'm so high I would give anything in the world to be inside my lava lamp right now
I'm in the freezer. Shit took away any trace of hangover outa my body.
I've just informed her that you've voted her Chief-Adult-In-Charge-Of-Shit and that she will take the oath of office on Fri Dec 14th at 8 pm with her hand on a bottle of Jager.
You are COMPLAINING that the sex was too good. You're not getting any sympathy from me
Is it morally wrong to give today's hookup a Krispy Kreme from yesterday's hookup or is it just fat love?
Sure go ahead and start this 'business' with him...just don't come crying to me when you have to fake your own death in two years
Sex in your truck helped me start regaining feeling in my jaw. Thanks!
She used to be cute, back when we were young.
Oh well, so were platform jellies. Shit changes.
I complemented his smile, he sends me a dick pic. Seriously?
You challenged a dog groomer that she couldn't cut human hair ... How's the shaved head
fyi: first time in five days i havent washed my birth control down with liquor. when are we going out tonight?
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