So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
just spent about 3 1/2 hours looking for a dollar so I can buy weed.
suggestion: become a stripper.
I made the bartender pinky promise me there was still vodka in my drinks.
i would one night stand the shit outta him
I'm not driving across town for three thrusts and an excuse
Mike showed up naked and in handcuffs. Again. Feel free to come over and laugh because I'm not helping this time.
Impressive. I've never gotten straight denied and then chased the guy naked out of my own apt. I'll remember that next time.
All I'm saying is that if you have time for a 20 min shower bj you have time for me
You cried for a while then lifted lots of weights then cady's ex put glitter on your tits and then you took a nap. I got you pizza and brought you home. Nothing too exciting.
The comfort of this onesie is keeping me single
I told my coworker that I'd get him some edibles because he wants to rekindle his marriage. I'd better get some good karma out of this.
I started carrying sissors in my purse to open plan B with. Both ashamed and proud.
Being severely attracted to someone you find is your cousin just made my list of top 10 worst feelings
We need to get walkie talkies for when we're drunk so if we are at different parties or lost we can talk
I'm going to blackout. I realize this
Randomize
