plz talk dirty to me
I'm giving you permission to use the abortion money to pay for your DUI.
you traded sex for a burrito?
we just drove by a car that was painted for a grad, it said "you done it!" with a confederate flag bumper sticker next to it. i love kentucky
it's fine if we fail the bar, we were never going to satisfy the moral character requirement anyway
How do you have time to get laid so much in law school?
I like to set goals for myself. for example, he was my first libertarian
Well after last night I am convinced he is real life Tyler Durden. He only exists to me and somehow keeps me out of jail this entire time
Now I can say "look me up on Pornhub."
Wearing the 'Let's Party' thong feels weird without you...
So, I'm tripsitting Ruben cause he's on LSD, and he's starting to eat the chair because 'it is evil' according to him... I can't choose: should I stop him or film it?
I'm not sure. But a mason jar of drug free urine just as soon as anyone can would be so awesome.
He's talking about me being Slave Princess Leia and how he'll chain me up. I don't have the heart to point out that he would be Jabba in that scenario...Is it bad that his lack of SW knowledge is destroying my lady boner?
I just looked down and realized I was walking around in briefs and a ninja turtle shirt; and for a second, I thought I was 8 again... Weird...
At least be KIND OF sobering up before you text me, I've told you before I don't speak vodka unless I've been drinking it with you.
PS WHY wasn't I drinking it with you? Dick.
I'M TOO HORNY FOR GRAMMAR!!!
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