I really wanna talk..
if by talk you mean have nasty makeup sex involving marshmellow fluff.. I'm down
the bank didn't screw up, i spent 150$ at mcdonalds last night
To justify your stumbling you just kept yelling 'it's the boat, not the drinks' We hadn't even left the dock yet....
I'm gonna need you to NOT let me play duck duck goose with three racoons in the middle of the street next time.
I'm at about main and main street
He blended the pizza with water and drank the whole thing. He is my hangover hero
I have your car and your sandals. My shoes are somewhere under the puke couch. Safari time.
I meant to thank you again for giving up a potential interracial threesome to come to my party. I'm glad you stayed!
i mean, i offered you kinky, jungle themed sex. i don't know what else you want from me
We were Chugging coronas for the soul purpose of launching limes out of the 3rd story window, I'd say it was a good weekend
I chugged that bitch with a dip in.
You somehow managed to be a man whilst drinking a Mike's Hard. I commend you.
Curdled. you forgot that word. It was a curdled buttery nipple shot.
Girl re-adjusts bra, no one bats an eye. I re-adjust nuts, everyone stares.
If you saw or spoke to me yesterday can you message me. Trying to make a timeline of the day I was too drunk to remember
I am harder than a fucking diamond and Michael Bolton is playing. Your move.
Randomize
