think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
I looked at my arm when I woke up..I guess after 8 tally marks I said fuck it and wrote "too much"
I'm just not sure how to initiate the "do you want to have sex with my boyfriend and I" conversation
So, Southern Comfort will donate 25 cents for every bottle sold towards Gulf Coast Relief... Can we save the wetlands through my alcoholism?
There are drunk kids outside our building hugging that cop that's always on his bike as he's citing them for public drunkenness. It's not even 11 am.
Party was cancelled. Me and my dog are high as tits. Wanna go roam the outlet mall?
Survival tip #3: while you're hooking up with him, don't say he reminds you of his brother
My garbage can has nothing in it besides condoms and candy wrappers. That's good garbage.
David pulled a magic mike again and started stripping on every street sign we passed.
to have them in my mouth would be like meeting a unicorn while floating on a cloud of glitter
I thought my ass was sore from the gym then I realized it was from being spanked. Confusing time in my life.
Im pretty sure my housekeeper high fived her on the way out this morning
I need an IV, a new head, and stronger morals.
Matt and I's climactic adventure has ended with Matt being hauled off to jail. And now his brother and I are having lunch and a beer.
I'm pmsing and only have one functional foot
Randomize
