Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
Next time, if you wake and bake, make sure you nail the wake part. Not easy to explain to mum. Or the fire brigade.
How's your Sunday morning ritual of shitting and throwing up at the same time going?
I like how you try to look sexy and just end up looking like a weird boy.
My cock is literally on the edge of falling off. Fuck Vegas.
Hope you don't mind if I never tell my family about you.
Told her my spirit animal was the spread eagle. Now that's my name in her phone.
I woke up in a tutu and topless. How was your night?
Bitch, he is not your friend and this is not Bravo. Get in this car before you get smacked
I feel like a pizza delivery girl of vagina tho
I'm making poor life decisions again. Tune in tomorrow to see how much I hate life.
You're the second person to offer to fuck me in the bathroom at work. Idk whether I should feel honored, or if cvs is just a turn on.
He obv doesn't know that telling a woman to chill will get him murdered
My autobiography will be 500 pages of the words "I probably should've thought this through" typed over and over.
She then told me, and I quote "I want to send you nudes just to see how you'd react."
Randomize
