I feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear.
It's like a parade of train wrecks.
i wish there was an iPhone app that lets you write a TeXt LiKe tHiS
dude...come out of the closet already
Even if you were sober, spitters are STILL quitters, end of story.
ya i found him eventually. hes the only one who drinks guiness so I just had to follow the darkest green puke trail
No one actually likes Tequila. They just accept it as a fact of life. Like hpv.
I just want a better ending for myself. Not walking around with one sock on and my bush hanging out.
You kept asking who was the good cop and who was the bad cop, you said you only wanted to talk to the good one
There was blood everywhere. She was pretty good looking person though.
IT'S SUMMA TIME
ITS SUMMA TIME NOT BE HIGH ALL THE TIME TIME
THEY'RE THE SAME THING
I'm never drinking again. I saw way more penises than I ever cared to see last night. And I've decided that I'm going to live in Scotland.
I need an explanation for both of these epiphanies.
Ramen still too hot to eat. Eating it anyway. Stoner girls feel no pain
Your life has no conflict it's just a blur of sex and Netflix
Drunk you decided to patrol campus as the Arrow and tell random bystanders "YOU HAVE FAILED THIS CAMPUS." Campus P.D. did not join your crusade.
That explains the nerd bow & arrow...
You chased a rabbit then knocked on a police car and asked the cop "if he saw where that little bastard went."
Randomize
