Haha no. But I cannot hook up with you anymore. Especially when you group text people.
he looked like jesus. just the kind of jesus i would have sex with.
so its thursday, which means its time to resume communication with you
I probably should have cut it off when he started putting queso on my nipples, but within ten minutes I was a self-serve burrito bar.
so i finally decided to ask her out. she started mumbling, then she puked on me. i think i'll try again when she's sober
I think being a buddhist has made me a better drunk
She somehow inhaled a tack last night, she's having surgery today.
Well, it's hard to say. Last night he puked a perfect circle around him on the floor, and then sat in it insisting it would protect him from the smoke monster. He's was still there last time I checked.
Ahahhahaha I'm not that stupid but then again I thought cabo was in Africa until yesterday
In times of desperation, never...NEVER put green apple scented hand sanitizer on your vagina.
Peeing out the car window on the way home was a nice touch. In December, in Michigan, at 3am. Never seen a girl do that before. Neither had the guy in the minivan next to us.
Tent sex on an air mattress requires balance and flexibility. Not for the faint of heart
I feel like you're the sexual bearcat I've always wanted to be.
He's nice and all but I think I rather masturbate my way to happiness instead.
omg last night while walking home from your house I stole a seatless bike and carried it into my next door neighbors kitchen.. we just looked It up online it's an antique and worth $500 dollars
Randomize
