I had to get a ride home from that girl that slept with 3/4 of the band
His internet history had "Disney Porn" on it.
finally cleaned my dorm for the first time all year. bleach is awesome.
It wasn't a wasted relationship. I got road-head in an Escalade. I still keep that with me.
Stop introducing me to people as your little sister.
I don't think the lady gaga poster on your wall qualifies you as a brother.
i wanted to ask her what his dick looked like but i thought that would be weird for the first time i met her
She still cant shoot whiskey?
Im having serious doubts about this relationship
Were you rubbing your penis on me while I slept? I smell like penis.
I need to ask my mom where the drain cleaner is, but I'm afraid she'll ask why and the answer to that will just be "cum."
I did the walk of shame in nothing but a sleeping bag and now I'm on my way to pick up plan B. Let's not make a habit of this.
Sounds like a good New Years
Most desperate stoner moment; dropped our hard earned resin ball in the sand, rinsed it off and then did knife hits in the kitchen cuz we broke our only pipe
I wasn't supposed to sleep w him. So of course I sent him gps location to my bed.
I think I just saw my socks in the parking lot.. gonna keep walking
my comprehension of H.D. Thoreau really dives after 8 beers.....
It will astound me if they ever let you graduate.
Man, I'm never going tanning again he noticed the burns on my ass
Randomize
