you keep denying me to hang out, should i take a hint?
you keep asking me after midnight, should i take a hint?
yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
the only reason you beat me in fntsy this week is bc you wouldnt bail me outa jail in time to set my roster you dick
At the hospital. Forgot we locked Eric out of the house last night as a joke. Hypothermia's a bitch.
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
Make sure to show her the sewer we were arrested in on your tour.
If we break up, I want weekend visitations with your penis.
it was like lady and the tramp only with a jello shot on the pool table
oh dear god, that would be like watching to female walruses mate. We need to stop going to that lesbian bar...
I knew it was time to stop when you guys were playing a drinking game called "every three steps take a drink"
You were dancing with a coffee pot of rum in one hand and a joint in the other. So that should explain everything.
WE SHOULD FUCK TWO GUYS THAT LIVE TOGETHER
THAT WOULD BE SO CONVENIENT WE COULD CARPOOL
I apparently got up in the middle of the night after fucking him and started looking for you under piles of his clothing
I lost a bet last night, now I have to name the baby Fetty Wap, regardless of gender. Riley is going to kill me.
I just saw a guy in a zippo shirt buy 2 gallons of fire starter fluid and then proceed to smoke a cigarette. I feel like hes got some big plans for his tuesday.
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