mrs. f**** your sons in jail, if you can help with bail please respond, if not please dont tell him i told you.
I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
Just getting around to doing laundry. Jesus there's a lot of blood on my birthday dress.
it tasted disgusting. but i pretty much drank it in the name of science, and free alcohol
There's a bed on the roof. The window behind it is too small for it to go through. I'm impressed.
holy shit thats the most artistic dick pic ever
I found your wallet in my underwear drawer......... Don't worry I don't plan on asking any questions
The effect you have on my penis from a different state is impressive
She said I'm so hungry I could eat a dick and winked at me
I found some video of you on my camera that's like 5 seconds long, where you announce that you should have been a dentist before taking a bong hit.
i ended up making out with my new neighbor in a stranger's car that we found unlocked on a driveway somewhere. apparently drunk self never say "no" to adventure.
I've drank literally 19 beers and am still good. Utah is worthless
Oh my god, it's like someone broke the off button in my butthole
I would totes reciprocate the nip pic, but I'm sick with a piece of tissue shoved up one of my nostrils and I'm just not feeling that ambitious. Sorry.
I kept my extra Molly pill in my wallet in the change part, that's also where I keep my body jewelry while I'm working. The nose ring punctured the pill essentially coating itself in MDMA. My nose ring is back in my nose. This could be entertaining
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