That ginger could cleveland steamer me and it would still be the best day of my life
I've never seen anyone write a check for a bar tab before
Do you ever just think "I could really go for a good 30 minute blowjob". I do. Everytime jill smiles.
You know, I never expected to find myself with a roommate who I'd have to ask not to have sex while I'm in the room. And yet, here we are.
My fuck buddy took time out of his date with his girlfriend to text me happy Valentines Day.
all 3 of us brought blondes home last night. all 3 are passed out. we're gonna switch rooms and see how long until one of them notices.
Could be my worst decision since the whole 'third degree burn' fiasco.
My clit ring got caught in his beard. Never. Again.
His balls looked like two miss shaped chicken nuggets
I'm not sending you pictures to jack off to. That's not what friends do
Nope. I've found you care about two things in life: your momma and spreading your seed.
I forgot about snapchatting a pic of us, but I remember flossing with your hair.
Unless he's under 18, in which case you put him back where you found him this instant.
He held my hair back for me while i vomited in my driveway last night and i repayed him by farting mid-heave.
When I came out of the bathroom you were naked dead asleep on the couch but your dick was still rock hard standing straight up. I almost took a pic. It was impressive.
Randomize
