It was like a spaceship landed and 1000s of hipsters filled up the park
just put an icicle in the bong. best/worst idea ever. i think i can taste global warming right now.
This should be a warning to men everywhere: do not send pictures of your erect penis to women you hardly know - they will add cats and send them to all of their friends.
Now that I'm hitting my bong, I realized I haven't missed something so much in a long time. I love Thomas the Dank Engine.
They let me close the tennis center alone. It's a 6-minute drive from 2 of my booty calls. Scratch tennis court bj off the bucket list.
Wake your ass up this is a day of horror where we get horroibly drunk and sleep with tandom dudes who wish they were super heros ps i havr stuffed animals over my privates im a petting zoo this year
Out of control sex drive for a girl? I just masturbated in the bathroom at my in-laws house before dinner....
WHY AM I CRAWLING IN OLDER MEN HOLY JESUS
did you just say you're too stoned to fool around? okay we're over.
So we broke my sobriety. Played life size childhood games. Broke into a cold hot tub and got laid. I think this is BFF quality!
My boobs are literally freaking out because I've been wearing a bra for more than three hours....I need to go out more...
You added his wife on Facebook?! You're horrible at this mistress thing
I will consider today a failure if my nipple isn't bitten at least 😂
Oh is THAT how we're gonna play mini golf
Andddddd I'm drunk
Andddddd it's Tuesday
That's your opinion.
Why do so many fanfic writers want to see hockey players get pregnant?
Randomize
