i told him i was on my period. he said, and i quote "can we not just lay down some newspapers or something?"
It doesn't matter if he doesn't speak English because I speak the international language of blowies.
we just finished making mockaritas... then we prayed
god you guys know how to party
worst. bachelorette party. ever.
He got tattooed, peirced, and we're pretty sure he got rufeed by that fat chick. He was like a walking spring break stereotype.
The cop and I then joined forces to get you up off the sidewalk.
I got arrested for "public intoxication". Fuckers threw me out of the bar into public... i mean shit they have thirsty Thursdays. And I get thrown out for self serve Sundays plus a citation.
You lifted he top layer off his birthday cake and made it say 'eat me' in the cookie monster voice so yeah he knew.
I have woke up on a strange couch, in a strange house, on another campus. Can you Friend-Find me and pick me up?
You missed the winter stoner olympics last night....I got the gold in blunt rolling
Dude, you need better judgement.Trust me I know. I put my dick in the wrong mouths all the time
Ate 3 ghost peppers and chased them with Everclear last night. Currently on the toilet cursing the universe and everyone in it.
He's at Disney with 4 kids and I'm drinking wine from the bottle in bed at 2:45pm. Does it sound like we're compatible??
You can cuddle me. Word on the street is my ass is ridiculous.
Is it totally acceptable to fuck a co-worker even though we don't speak the same language?
Why do you even have to ask me that question
Went to the party dressed like a Cougar and brought a twenty something dressed as Micheal Phelps home. So far I’m loving being divorced. :-)
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