forget your mom, you can see her anytime. A one night stand only happens ONE night.
He wouldnt get hard, then started talking about his ex wife. I literally rolled over and started to cry
A guy in a big stork costume just came to our meeting to give us condoms and t-shirts telling us not to get pregnant. Only at college
i can't believe i had a foursome before a threesome
She woke up with blood running down her face and asked the EMS guy where the keg was
Tequila bombs in champagne seemed like a good idea at the time.
I think I just accidentally agreed to become a surrogate for a gay couple
She wanted to make popcorn, but the air-popper was broken. So she dumped the entire container of kernels into the clothes dryer. Drunk movie night was a success!
I just replaced the poop spray with an air horn... Now we wait!
But the sex is so much better when he already has a girlfriend
I literally can not watch Thor without thinking of your dick
MY DAD KEEPS LIKING PORN LINKS/ALBUMS ON FACEBOOK AND THEY ALL SHOW UP IN MY NEWSFEED
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
I told her I'd rather set my hair on fire than sleep with her again. In retrospect, that was probably too harsh. My eye is still swollen shut.
He woke me up at 6:30 to have sex again and afterwards, he didn't even judge me when I asked him if he wanted some rum. I think I found my soulmate.
Randomize
