i just saw her new tattoo, how much more trashy can you get than having "taste the rainbow" on your body for the rest of your life?
The little penguins are speaking with a hispanic accent. I dont know how to feel about it. Geographically speaking, this cant be possibly. This isnt cool.
she gave me one of those friendship bracelets and said as long as I wore it it was like an all-access pass to her vagina
Sorry, but you probably shouldn't come over. I'm too sober for this.
She told me she loves her boyfreind while she was giving me head. He must be a nice guy
I'll even give you a complementary welcome blowjob.
I wish the sun would stop judging me for being drunk while it's still shining.
you should be awarded for your promiscuity.
i really should.
I am naked in a blanket sprawled on my bed eating a pastry. This is all I want out of life. Ever.
i asked him to talk to me in french while we fucked and halfway through i caught the word 'lasagna'. turns out he was making his grocery list.....i asked him to keep going.
According to my snapchat story, I tore a fake wig off a security guard and ran away with it.
I got pull-out-my-nuvaring-drunk last night.
Well when we Get drunk it gets rowdy. We could always attempt self-control. But historically and statistically speaking, we fail at that.
What a weekend. It started with me realizing i might not be straight and ended with me spraining my foot.
Had to claim I'd "gone lesbian" to get my cat back. Thank God I got away from that one.
Randomize
