This girls a $30 bar tab from being bi
I just watered my plants with apple juice. Look what you made me do.
Omg!!!! Call me in the morning I just saw A stripper queef out a dollar
They had to restock the bar 3 times before midnight. There is a bridesmaid dress hanging in a tree outside.
she was masturbating to a video of herself masturbaing. She's a keeper
No I can't cure herpes. I'm an EMT, not Jesus.
God I love incriminating evidence...wonder what the statue of limitations is on shitting on someones driveway
oh yeah, there may or may not be a large boa loose in the house when you get home.
We are both federal employees and Obama gave us a four-day weekend to lie in bed. Do you know how many orgasms that will be? I knew there was a reason I voted for this guy.
Some cougar Brit said she loved me. America is bouncing back.
WAKE UP!!! We have 20 minutes to get to class. That means we only have 10 minutes to get drunk.
i woke up with a kayak in my amazon shopping cart with 1 wrong digit on my credit card and the transaction wasn't going through.
Man, you got so high you own goaled yourself in FIFA then got up celebrating.
I apologize in advance for the amount of cleavage I'll be exposing your boyfriend to.
Reverse road head. Sa-witch!!!
Randomize
